Die, you bastards, die!

Meet the brown marmorated stink bug or, as I like to call them, “Bastard.”

Chances are if you live in the eastern US – though I hear they’re moving westward – you’ve encountered these aromatic pests. Probably not just one, either. I’ve got dozens, perhaps hundreds, of them buzzing around my apartment, clustered around the south-facing windows like little heat-seeking missiles.

Experts say the best way to deal with them is to seal all cracks and crevices in your living space they might use to sneak inside and hibernate during the winter. When you live in a place built nearly 200 years ago and not originally meant for human habitation, however, making the place air-tight is an impossible achievement. Fortunately I’m not really affected by their notorious odor – I do get a whiff every now and again, but it’s not overpowering or noxious.

What I hate most about them is the way they buzz around dive-bombing my computer monitor and desk lamp. Sometimes they miss and end up in my hair, or on my shoulder. My poor fly swatter is in tatters from all the squashing it’s been called on to do this spring, and the warm weather’s only just begun. I think I’ll have to invest in something with a little more oomph.


About Laura

Former single parent adjusting to an empty nest, moving back in with my parents, and returning to the workforce. Student of medieval history, fandom dabbler, and perspiring writer.
This entry was posted in Mill Living, Wildlife and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Die, you bastards, die!

  1. We have them here too but not quite that bad. One of my dogs plays with them until it dies and then the other disposes of the body 😉

    • Laura says:

      My dog likes to chase after them too – she does with all bugs, but the noisier ones are her favorites – but then she leaves their stinky little carcasses lying around for me to sweep up. Oh well, they’re going to die one way or another!

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